Learning To Let Go…

My second week of March was originally going to be spent doing some backpacking on Mt.Charleston in the Las Vegas area, but due to the amount of snow and some personal reasons I decided to cut my visit short and head north to the Boise Idaho area. I have a few friends from Las Vegas that now live in that area and they have been begging me for years to go visit, so I finally did. I also have friends from Yellowstone who live in that area and my best friend from deployment lives there as well. It was kind of awesome to have all these friends from VERY different parts of my life all in one place. I even made some really awesome friends while I was there and got convinced to go participate in Trivia Night at the Elk’s Lodge. If you know anything about me, you know that I enjoy watching people play but I don’t play. Before you know it, I’ll be up singing karaoke or doing an open mic night!!!!

I started off my mental health vacation by hopping on the Harley and going for a ride around the Nampa area. It was exactly what I needed to help wind down from being in Las Vegas. The ride was a little chilly, and my face and hands were completely numb by the end of it, but it was 100% worth every second. I don’t think that I was expecting it to be so pretty. I’ve driven through eastern Idaho a lot to get back to Colorado when I was living in Yellowstone, but I don’t think that I’ve been that far west before. In my head, I was expecting it to be flat and boring, it wasn’t. There were some amazing views of the countryside with the surrounding mountains in the background. I broke my back in 2011 and haven’t been able to enjoy being on a bike but I can honestly say that going for a ride that day definitely helped heal my soul a little bit. Between the wind in my face, the windy country roads, and the smell of cows, I felt like I was home.

I had to make probably one of the toughest decisions I’ve ever had to make while I was in Idaho… Due to her age and overall happiness, my pup is staying in the potato state with my friends. They have a 5 month old Doberman named “Gunnar” who will be keeping her company, along with some cats and chickens. From all the photos that I’ve received this last week, I don’t think that she minds staying there at all. This will be the longest time I’ve been away from her in 9 years and there is a chance that I will miss her birthday for the first time ever. It might be incredibly selfish of me to continue to do this without her, but I know that it would be unforgivable to drag her along. I feel bad for her not be able to run and play on days that we’re on the road, or be able to walk on days that we’re out hiking.

One of the major aspects of this trip is trying to heal from some of my previous experiences and learning to forgive other people and myself. My best friend from deployment and I had a falling out a few years ago. We were both in a really rough place in our young adult lives and I don’t think that either one of us knew how to cope with what was going on so we took it out on each other. That was 2010-2011 and for the first time since then, her and I are in the same town. So I went over to her new apartment and played catch up. It was amazing to chat with her and to hear how much she has “grown up” and “matured” since the last time I saw her. And then I started to think about some of the other people I had deployed with. It was a few hours of pure nostalgia and I felt like we needed to be blaring Katy Perry or LadyGaga in the background. But I’m fairly certain neither one of us are willing to go back to being in our early 20’s again.

My Idaho trip had a rather dramatic closing… Jessica and I were very good friends in 2012. Both of our husbands were deployed together and we both were FRG board members. Through some extremely messed up situations, Jess became the best friend I didn’t know I needed. Her and I had a major drift due to some personal reasons and I didn’t bother to keep in touch. I found out about her death through the grapevine soon after but it wasn’t until 2014ish that I had actually made any attempt to find where she was buried. Every time I drove through the area where she is, I would look up the addresses for cemeteries. For some reason when I looked them up, my phone always took me on a goose chase through the town. Since I was driving in that area, I decided to give it one more shot. This time, the directions took me straight to the cemetery and now all I had to do was find her stone. The cemetery isn’t that big, but I could have easily spent an hour looking for her. But the universe decided that I was ready to deal with this part of my past and I literally parked right at her row and walked right up to her gravestone. I sat and chatted with her, yelled at her, cried for her, and even laughed. She’s taught me the hardest lesson of letting go. I’ll never understand why she did what she did, or why she took her life, and that is something that I’ve had to work on. In the end, I’m truly grateful for her part in shaping who I am now.

My Trivia Team!!!!

Keep Moving Forward…

I lived in the Las Vegas area for over 4 years and I had only been out to Valley of Fire once, on an ATV adventure with one of my best friends from out of town. I didn’t get to see much since I was focused on driving and not getting lost on the trail. The park is about an hour north of Las Vegas and has a $10 entrance fee. There are tent and RV camping options as well. My pup had a blast climbing at Beehive and impressed some kids with her fearlessness and helped them conquer their fear of heights. We checked out the petroglyphs near the campgrounds, went for a walk around the Petrified Logs, drove White Domes and Fire Canyon Road, but I think the most exciting part was seeing Elephant Rock. The story behind seeing Elephant Rock is that last summer, my ex-husband and I looked EVERYWHERE for it and went on several trips looking for it. The problem was that we were looking in the wrong area for it. He thought it was in Lake Mead Recreation Park in what’s known as Bowl of Fire so we would go out there and explore all over the area looking for a rock formation that looked like an elephant. We obviously never found it, but found a lot of other cool formations and took some awesome photos so it wasn’t a complete loss.

My second hike this last week was at Callville Bay in Lake Mead Recreation Park. The west entrance is about 30mins from Las Vegas and costs $25 per car. There are a number of campgrounds throughout the park as well. The trail we took was simple and short but has amazing views of the lake. The ironic thing is, I lived in Callville Bay for 2 years and not once did I go on this hike. I’m glad that I waited to go on it since I hiked it for the first time with a really good friend of mine who is in the area from Alaska and it was good to hike and catch up in an area of the park that we met in.

After the hike at Callville, the pup and I headed to a popular art instillation south of Las Vegas onI-15 called Seven Magic Mountains for a sunset viewing. It is free to go check out these color totems and it’s open 24 hours. It was really neat to see them, but I personally wouldn’t have driven out of my way to go see them if I didn’t have some spare time on my hands. If you are traveling along I-15 and are in this area, it’s worth the stop.

My last hike in the area was the Arizona (Ringbolt) Hot Springs hike. I did this hike last year with my ex-husband and one of our pups, so we didn’t get to do the loop option. This time I did it as my first official solo hike, no pup, and it was one of the most empowering experiences I’ve had. The trail head is about 4 miles east of the Arizona/Nevada border and while it is a Lake Mead trail, there is no fee to park or hike the trail. Once you leave the parking lot, you hike in the wash under highway 93 and into what I call “no man’s land” which is just a flat nothing until you reach the canyons leading to the river. The suggest route to take is staying to the right and going through White Rock Canyon to the river and the hot springs, and then taking Hot Spring Canyon back to the wash and parking lot. When taking White Rock Canyon, the hike will be gradual until you reach the river. You will also have to climb a ladder to get to the hot springs and the first pool you get to will be the coolest of the three. If you come from Hot Springs Canyon, the hike is more steep and you will be at the top of the hot springs which will be the hottest. There are warning signs about putting your head under the water due to the brain-eating amoeba that can be found in hot springs. While the likelihood of this happening to you, it’s better to be safe and just not put your head under the water… You can also spot occasional petroglyphs along some of the trails if you keep your eyes open. Please note that this trail is closed during the summer due to extreme heat. The weather may not FEEL too bad when you start out, but the canyons have to potential to reach critical temperatures.

Marching On…

The first stop on my journey was Glen Canyon National Recreation Area (Some of you may know this area as Lake Powell). I have a few really good friends that live/work out there and I took this opportunity to go see Horseshoe Bend. I’ve always wanted to see it and just never made the time to when I was in the area. There was no excuse not to see it now. The procedures to get to Horseshoe Bend have recently changed and will be changing again in the near future. As of right now, you have to park in a lot down the road from where the tail is and take a shuttle to the old parking lot. There is a $5/person fee to ride the shuttle. There is a bit of construction going on in the area because Glen Canyon is adding fee stations and redoing the trail to the lookout. We were told that the construction is supposed to be finished around May of this year. Once the stations are in place and the trail is finished, it will cost $20/vehicle to see Horseshoe Bend so now is the time to go see it. I personally wasn’t too thrilled about how much traffic there was with the shuttle system because the visitors were coming and going in flocks. With that being said, the shuttle service started because it was too dangerous for pedestrians in the parking lot and for drivers trying to get in and out of the parking lot. Sometimes you have to sacrifice solitude for safety when seeing regal venues.

My next adventure was hiking out at Red Rock Canyon National Conservation Area just west of Las Vegas Nevada. I’ve recently lived in the area but I had only driven through the Red Rock Canyon Loop and didn’t do any hiking. My trail pal, Nawno (Naw-No) the Lab accompanied me on the La Madre Spring and White Rock Loop trail. The loop is about 6.5 miles and took us 3 hours to complete, which included 15mins for lunch and 15mins for Nawno to play in the water and cool off. If you know anything about Labs, they LOVE water and mine will never turn down an opportunity to get wet. We started at the Willow Springs Trailhead around 1030 in the morning and went clockwise around the loop. I’m really glad that we took the route we did, and when we did, because we were hiking uphill with plenty of shade on the first half, and hiked downhill on the last half which also included the creek area. I literally couldn’t have planned a better hike that day. The weather was gorgeous and we had apparently missed all the hail that happened the day before, but got to enjoy the sounds of the water still trickling off the White Rock Hills. The park was incredibly busy but we didn’t run into too many people on the trail and the ones we did see were extremely pleasant.

Homage

Every town has it’s story and folklore. My hometown is said to have a curse that was placed by the natives when then settlers pushed them out of the valley. Of course there are multiple versions of what the curse is suppose to be or how to “break” it depending on who you ask. I was told that the curse was you were destined to live a miserable life in the valley once you had a residence there. UNLESS you go to the summit of the three major mountain ranges that make up the valley and take a handful of dirt with you when you leave the valley…. So this last weekend, I decided to pay homage to the summits. Now, I believe in “leave only footprints and take only pictures” so the powers that be are going to have to be ok with that and let’s hope that it works.

The first place I visited was the Colorado National Monument. I’ve been there a handful of times but this was the first time I did more than just drive through and took my time seeing everything. It was also my first time going there solo, and it was also Valentine’s Day. My first one as a single girl since probably high school. I honestly was worried about spending the day alone, but I can’t tell you the last time I felt my soul fly. I ordered a steak, mashed potatoes, and green beans from a local restaurant and found the perfect place to eat my romantic meal for one. It was so serene that I could hear the crunching of the snow landing. I also got to see some awesome wildlife! I’m fairly certain this is my favorite place in the Grand Valley.

My next visit was to the Grand Mesa. Unfortunately there was SO much snow that I didn’t get the chance to get out and do any hiking, but the drive across the mesa was gorgeous and completely worth the attempt. I even had some spare time to meet up with an old friend of mine from high school!

Over the weekend, my brother and I took my niece up to Rifle Falls State Park and Rifle Mountain Park. I honestly haven’t spent much time in this area so it was a lot of fun to get out and see some awesome things! I also REALLY like caves… A LOT… And I got to teach my niece all about them. I’m not sure she was as impressed as I was. And I’m fairly certain she was annoyed with all the quizzing throughout the hike. If you ever decide to go to visit either park during the winter, be prepared to deal with ice, and possibly falling on your butt. Also know that it’s totally worth it. These parks aren’t a part of the curse, but they were something I wanted to check off my list while I was in the area.

  • This is a “snow roller” that I spotted between the two parks. If you don’t know anything about these phenomenons, you should really look into them.

The last place that I needed to visit was the summit of Mt.Garfield. I will admit that I have tried a few times in the past to make it up to the top and haven’t been able to. There has ALWAYS been something out of my control that preventing me from making it. One time it was a time restriction, the second was the weather changing, and this last time was not having a vehicle that could reach the trailhead. So, my brother and I went back up to the monument and hiked out to Liberty Cap. It was just as amazing as it was when I was there a few days before. We ran into a snowshoer on her way back to the trailhead, and got to make some fresh prints on the trail. This time the sun was out and I wasn’t alone so I had some great conversations along the way.

  • Liberty Cap (monument), Mt.Garfield, AND the Grand Mesa all in one shot

Plans Are ALWAYS Changing

First things first. I want to send out a huge THANK YOU to everyone who read my first entry and gave me feedback. I can’t even begin to tell you how much your support and encouragement has meant to me! Second thing, it’s truly amazing and terrifying how much can change in a week. So many things have been added to the mix since my last blog and I think that things are finally organized enough to share with you guys.

I have been applying to be a brand ambassador with a handful of companies in hopes that I can eventually get sponsored. To be honest, I have NO idea what I’m doing and I’m just taking advice from a few people that seem to know what they’re doing… Well, I applied to a handful of companies and I’ve been accepted in into 5 of them so far (I’ll post those companies and my promo codes/website links in a bit). I am extremely excited about being associated with these companies, their mission, and the possibilities of being their ambassador even if it doesn’t turn into anything more than that.

I have also switched up my summer/fall schedule. I applied for a volunteer position and I’m currently in the “hiring” process. I am incredibly excited, terrified, and nervous about this new addition to my plans. This will probably defer my adventures for a bit since this position will be June-Sept, but I’m fairly certain that I’ll still be able to make my 50 in 5 years deadline. This position gave me some anxiety with all the phone calls, and emails, and talking to people I don’t know, and the fear that I’m not good enough for the job. But all that anxiety just motivated me to actually follow through with it all. I can’t wait to share with you what this position is when I get the decision!

Here’s a list of the companies I’m a brand ambassador for, a little bit about what they’re about, and my PROMO codes or weblinks. If you use my promo code or my weblink, I will get paid a portion of whatever you buy, should you decided to buy something.

1: Madera Hammock Co. is based out of Jackson Hole, Wyoming. They are an Organization that works to establish commitment to spirit, nature and service. Doing Good is their motive and they want all who are involved with them to feel of the spirit known to Jackson Hole. Madera 2 plants trees for every hammock sold and are partnered with trees.org. Their goal is to raise awareness about their solution to solve hunger, poverty, and environmental degradation. I get a portion of what you buy which helps with my traveling. Here is my weblink information for Madera.

2: Wildish Outdoorsy Gear is a new company started in 2017 that is based out of Bend Oregon. They have a “karma coin” program where you earn coins based off of items you buy and you can use those “coins” to donate to a cause. Their current causes are reducing extreme poverty & restore healthy forests by employing local villagers to plant millions of trees, booties for Working Dogs for Conservation rescues & then trains dogs for conservation detection & wildlife protection, and providing families ways to earn sustainable income by boosting income through sales of honey, wax & pollen. I don’t get any income from this company. Here is the link for Wildish

3: Livingstone Brand is a Canadian company that donates a portion of every backpack back to National Parks through their Packs for Parks!!!! No code needed. Just buy the Alberta Pack. Go check out their site here

4: beyondBeanie supports the work of a talented artisan in Bolivia who proudly hand-signs their creations and whom you can meet and greet through their website. At the present time, beyondBeanie is collaborating with 23 artisans from El Alto, La Paz and Cochabamba, who have the privilege of working from home which allows them to earn a living without having to disattend their children and families. Their focus is to work with the most needed women, usually coming from rural areas and/or disadvantaged communities, who are trained in the art of weaving and knitting by members of our team.

The Journey Begins…

I’ve never experienced being homesick. Ever. I moved around a lot as a kid, joined the US Army right out of high school, was married a man whose job included moving, and not once did I feel like I was at home or that I missed being home. It didn’t even occur to me that it was something that people honestly felt. And I didn’t think it was weird either. That is, until I was getting ready to turn 29, going through my second divorce, was recently diagnosed with being bi-polar, and didn’t know where to go.

At first, I thought it was a problem. That not KNOWING where I wanted to be or spend the rest of my life was an issue. Somehow I had failed as a decent human because I was almost 30 and had close to nothing. There were multiple moments, between when my marriage was over and when I decided that this was something that I wanted to do, where I was worried about the decisions I had made over the last year and if they were the right call. But the more I thought about it, the less is bothered me and the more it inspired me.

It wasn’t too long before the possibilities started to take seed and the planning process started. I just had no idea where to begin so getting overwhelmed and anxious happened a lot. I started by making the decision of physically where I wanted to start this journey. I chose New Mexico as my starting point since I was currently located in Colorado and I haven’t done much exploring in the Land of Enchantment. I thought that starting in a southern state would be a good place to start because of the season but this year has been strange so I’ve had to adjust some things in hopes that I won’t freeze. One of those adjustments is taking just a trip down to Carlsbad Caverns during February instead of exploring all the sites I wanted to see. I plan on looping back to New Mexico once it thaws out a bit.

My next step was figuring out my budget. I will be living off of my veteran’s compensation so my funds are limited and only come in once a month. One of my symptoms of being bi-polar is not being to money manage so this probably will be my biggest challenge and I’m having a lot of anxiety about it. I plan on tent camping/sleeping in my car or staying with a friend in the area that I’m exploring to save on money. My car also gets really good gas mileage so I’m sure that’ll help a lot too. I think the hardest part about being on a budget is making sure I don’t get carried away with my food spending. If anyone knows me, they know that I LOVE food. The other thing I’m concerned about is paying fees to get to the places I want to see. I do plan on buying annual  passes that I’ll need to see the national and state parks to help out with those costs. I’ll just have to be careful about buying souvenirs and such…

My final hurdle is making sure I have all that I will need. I follow a ton of groups on Facebook that have helped point me in the right direction, but again, anxiety tends to get the best of me and I panic about not having enough stuff or the right stuff to survive on the road. I’m constantly having to reassure myself that I can buy things along the way if I need them and that this whole thing is a giant experiment for me to grow, heal, and learn. I have to have faith in myself and know that I’m going to make mistakes, I’m going to get stranded, I’m going to cry. But I’m also going to explore, I’m going to laugh, I’m going to stand in awe of some of the most beautiful places in the nation. And that alone will make it all worth it.

I hope you all enjoy following me on this journey. I really would enjoy the company.

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